September 19, 2007

Software for a New Century - EgoTicklerWare

Still mining the 'charity' vein, we are introducing this morning a Christmas gift solution that is valid for most of us, bloggers, Second Lifers, YouTubers, Facebookers, MySpacers and Googlers. When installed it accomplish ALL of the following goals seamlessly while you are busy doing something else on your computer.
  • First EgoTicklerWare will ask you identify the TARGET, someone whose ego needs a little tickling, or a loved one in need of a boost, even yourself if you need it too. You enter the identity of that lucky person, his or her email address, avatar name, Facebook Wall, blog name etc...Add a few of that person's traits and vulnerabilities in the appropriate fields. DONT FORGET GENDER, AGE, CULTURAL ID !
  • 'EgoTicklerWare' was written by professionnal EgoTicklers, trained in subtlety, sneakiness and suave but subdued flattery.
  • The program picks at random from a database of 10,000 tested ID's. Using one of these, it then posts comments to the TARGET's blog (or email, Facebook Wall, SL messaging etc..). This is done at random for a pre-defined period of time. It is of course ajusted for time zones (i.e. 'LucianaBella' in Sao Paolo would write between 11PM and 5AM GMT).
  • Fully stealthy, it mimicks different writing styles and even introduces random misspellings and language crossovers. The cammouflage is so perfect it will fool you, the user!
  • It uses great opening lines from a database of 5,000 gems like: "Did you really write this!??! AWESOME! Do more please!"
  • Return mail from the TICKLED to the TICKLER is stored and scanned within the program, feeding results to a score card that then uses advanced AI for interpretation. It then propels a series of up to ten posted sequels, culminating in tested 'chokers' like "We need to stop these exchanges. My husband is getting jealous!"
  • The bonus pack includes 500 royalty-free photos of assorted pretty faces that cannot be identified . Just pick any that you think would fit the names proposed to you by EgoTicklerWare .
  • Just think! between now and Christmas Day, if you have DSL and stay connected all of the time, you could thrill a potential of 12,656 people 145,356 times (slightly less if your system has less than 3GHtz clock speed, or if you use an older Mac).
  • Buy EgoTicklerWare 1.01 now and get tickling! Just think! by promoting self-love, aren't you just opening the way for an Immense Wave of True Love!
We are actively recruiting tickle writers for our EgoTicklerWare V1.02
If you have such talent and would like to join the TickleTeam, please post a comment below containing a sample of a 'tickle' you would write. We will respond quickly if you have 'the right stuff', which I am sure you do

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Seldom does one encounter such intelligence and vision. You are a discovery, a true gem. I feel impelled to share you although I would prefer to lock you in my vault for which no one has the combination 
There are those rare people who mark our minds, helping us to expand and soar. You will remain one of these very magical ones whose spirit makes me rise.
I thank you.

Anonymous said...

Overweight and unattractive is how you describe yourself. Are we judged by pounds, midriff inches and hair volume? Are we beasts parading the platform of a universal beauty contest? Not so. We are the reflection of beauty within. And you, my dearest, feast the eyes of my soul.

Anonymous said...

Jacques did you write the score for this commercial video? It's totally cool, man. Those bouncing notes suggest the tippitytaps the heart makes when hit with just the right tickles.

Anonymous said...

Je t'aime mon gros poussin!

The13th said...

Very funny explore into connectivity versus marketing. Sigh, it also awoke a little bit of broken heart.

The context of everything gets lost in crowds, but the alternative wasn't much better. Hello world. Postcard of love... to a friend in Africa (and from her too.)

Spears, wigs, and masks. It's a tribal life everywhere. Your third world friend.

The13th said...

Comment to "Are we beasts parading the platform of a universal beauty contest? No, we are beautiful within."

Such logic shoots the shit out of sunsets and golden retrievers.

Maybe this is a male thing, but I'd rather believe shape is unique sexy (as it is!) instead of always requiring the autopsy of my emotional content within. Not every necklace needs a skin dive, but let's not forsake the pearls either.

A smile in silence brings the sun round too! It just makes for a lousy blog entry...