Worse Music Video Ever

Finnish music video from the 80's. Having worked in Finland in the late seventies, why am I not surprised?

Finally, Something You Really Really Want, the Real PacMan Game

Use your ARROWS to move PacMan - To play the game FULL SCREEN click HERE

Which Accordionist Do You Prefer - I Need To Know In What Direction To Develop

You Should All Clean The INSIDE of Your Monitor Glass Periodically.

Most of us never consider cleaning the glass from the inside of our monitor like we do for an aquarium. It's essential, especially if your eyesight is failing. This advice is equally valid for portables where the plastic film quickly clogs up with micro-dust. It takes 2 seconds to start the utility below. Once started, with your mouse stroke the window repeatedly from left to right, then top to bottom. We clean for the fishes yet we tolerate grayed out screens for our own usage.

Click below:
FREE_MONITOR_CLEANING_UTILITY
It works instantly, with no download time

The Early Morning Jog of a Needy Brain.

I need to write this morning with only the vaguest idea of where I am heading. I know it will involve dogs, our mortality, superstition, addiction and a few other topics. I want to tie stuff together, in a way, connect some dots, make little packages of wisdom or knowledge that are readily available on the shelves of my blog, something I do for myself every day while thinking pretentiously that it serves mankind.
My blog is read by a few friends and family members, my own window on ‘mankind’, but so what? We are a collaborative species, aren’t we? If you ever took a dog walking you know that they are seeking with their wet noses scents and other artifacts that could reveal a prey, something edible for the entire family of which they are. Even bees do their little song and dance to tell each other where the flowers are.
So here I am this morning with my nose wet for something revealing, fingers dancing on the keyboard.
But what exactly? Let’s ramble on until it materializes.
The topic of addiction would be a good start, said he while lighting a second cigarette after a third gulp of that great cappuccino. Whoops, I forgot the cinnamon, the only food substance that, according to recent science, is a true aphrodisiac. As opposed to false aphrodisiacs, the ‘true’ variety actually raises the level of testosterone in men. So I am going to wait a few minutes until I feel a surge of manhood in myself before I tackle anything of substance. Aha, tobacco is already getting in my brain thanks to that direct link to that immense porous lung membrane that if flattened, they say, would cover an large dining table. The neo-cortex of the brain is another one of those things that if it was stretched from its convoluted state would represent the area of a large handkerchief. Nicotine is pinging right now, boosting serotonin production in several synapses, making me excitable and certainly more talkative. Caffeine helping on with shaking the large handkerchief until of it fires on all cylinders. Pretty soon, blawgers and friends, we will have a synthesis, connections will occur and a concept will emerge, a morsel for us to savor all day.
....
I don’t know about you but I’m waiting for it. Like waiting for Godot. It doesn’t seem to be happening....! All the cigarette did was to make me want to smoke another one. All the coffee does is make me want to cook up another cup. Shucks. Remember two weeks ago I said I had quit smoking for five days then? It was true. Fell off the bandwagon on the sixth day. My brother-in-law that I am going to visit today in California was on a similar plan with a progressive decrease. I was competing with him using the ‘cold turkey’ approach. OK, I dont want to lose face so I am quitting RIGHT NOW so that when the family car reaches Carlsbad CA at around 11AM, I can safely tell him that I quit smoking.
...
Done. I just quit. I feel wonderful. All that oxygen is already seeping through the tablecloth of my lungs, rushing through the carotids to the handkerchief of my brain. I feel terribly smart and ‘promising’. Trouble is I have been ‘promising’ since my youth and have not delivered much. And still no delivery of anything substantial on the horizon, in spite of the ‘clean living’ I have subjected myself for the last five minutes. Nothing connects. It’s 4AM and the dogs are still sleeping around Nikki. Conditions are perfect for discovery, yet I discover nothing, zilch, nada, just wasting your precious time.
...
Let’s face it, I am not a Montesquieu nor even a Georges Carlin. I just don’t cut the mustard as a morning philosopher. And my own mortality makes it that fairly soon I will fizzle out into the dark soup, leaving no traces of my passage on earth. What a depressing thought.
But I did play the accordion at a wedding last week. And they are making a leather bound photo album. That document could last 100 years and end up on PBS's 'Antique Road Show'. Possibly someone would then identify me and say: there's my great great great grand uncle Jacques.
Unlikely. So let’s have another cigarette

Young Excitable Stainless Steel Russia

This as response to a well deserve tongue lashing from an insulted Russian blawger (you know...'Mazel Tov" with the lady pulling the plow). This other Russia is equally valid. And there will be others soon. Meanwhile click on MENU for recent Russian pop.

Mazel Tov (Good Luck!) - Russia, we love ya!

This photomontage is dedicated to Marie (aka Odile, aka MangoBetty) who admitted that the only Yiddish she knows is 'Mazel Tov', an expression still without a meaning to her. This montage of Russian photos on the song 'Mazel Tov' , will show fellow humans that seems to beg for 'Mazel Tov', a little 'Good Luck!'. There! now you know the meaning ;-)
Now when this video is over, click on MENU and see various renditions of MAZEL TOV.some hilarious.
Thanks Eric for the great photos.

Don't you ever click the in Mr. Grizzly's face with your silly little white hand.

Please Blawggers, Don't Push My Button...

How To Get Rid Of A Telemarketer

A lot of you loved How To Get Rid Of An Annoying Person last summer. This one requires a little more acting skills but is nonetheless very effective, this time with annoying telemarketers.

Thanks Jackee. That was a good one!

Jean Pierre Fishing For Lobster In Shediac N.B.

It has become a highly mechanized specialty, leaving the lobster fisherman plenty of time to indulge in other activities, or none at all. My cousin Jean-Pierre whom I haven't seen for 57 years is now a prosperous retiree enjoying fishing, a sport that we once practiced together catching a lonely trout in a brook behind some thorny bushes and many black flies. How times have changed when hydraulic winches troll the bottom of the Chaleur Bay to garner wonderful lobsters and assorted boots and retreads.

Which reminds me of a joke heard in Houston last time I was there:

A cowboy is driving down a back road in Texas. A sign in front of a restaurant reads:
HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL Lobster Tail and Beer

"Lord almighty" he says to himself, "my three favorite things!!"

Depression Hot Line

I was feeling a bit depressed the other day,
so I called the Help Hotline.
I was put through to a "call center" in Pakistan.
I explained that I was feeling suicidal.
They were very excited at this news and wanted to
know if just maybe .....
... I could drive a truck or fly an airplane.

The Happy Political Medium

Odd Trees, Sequoia And Car

This one for the13th who wonders about the association of the name Sequoia with a car brand, and for Marie who drives a Sequoia around Colorado Springs. Explanation within.

Monday Morning Transport Chores

When Insults Had Class

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

— Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."

— Clarence Darrow

"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it."

— Groucho Marx

"I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

— Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."

— Oscar Wilde

" I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here."

— Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man who worships his creator."

— John Bright

"I just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial."

— Irvin S. Cobb

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

— William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play. Bring a friend — if you have one."

— From George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night. Will attend second night — if there is one."

— Churchill’s response to Shaw

"He is not only dull himself — he is the cause of dullness in others."

— Samuel Jackson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."

— Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy."

— Walter Kerr

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

— Mae West

"Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee."

— Lady Astor, to Winston Churchill, at a dinner party:

"Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it."

— Churchill’s reply to Lady Astor

Some gender benders

— One day, a man said to his wife,
"I don’t see how you can be so beautiful and so stupid at the same time."

His wife replied:
"God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you."

— A man and his wife were having a spat at home and giving each other the silent treatment. Then he realized that he needed his wife to wake him up at 5 the next morning to catch a plane for a business flight. So he handed his wife a note that read, "Please wake me up at 5 a.m."

That night, he slept soundly until 8:30 in the morning, and when he finally woke up, there was a note from his wife on her pillow, "It is now 5 a.m. Wake up!"

— A man read a newspaper article to his wife about how many words each gender speaks each day — 30,000 for women, only 15,000 for men. "See," he told her, "women talk too much."

His wife replied, "That’s because we have to repeat everything we say to men."

Her husband said, "What?"

— After an argument while on a driving trip, a man and his wife continued traveling for several miles without a word. When they passed a barnyard filled with mules, goats and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked her, "Are those relatives of yours?"

"They sure are," she replied. "They’re in-laws."

Once a pun a time

— Dijon vu — the same mustard all over again.

— Practice safe eating: Always use condiments.

— If you jump off a bridge in Paris, you are in Seine.

— Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

— A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

— Dancing cheek-to-cheek is a form of floor play.

— Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

— When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

— Definition of a will: a dead giveaway.

— A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

— If you don’t pay your exorcist, you could get repossessed.

— When a clock gets hungry, it goes back four seconds.

— When she saw her first gray hairs, she thought she’d dye.

— If you take a laptop computer for run, you may jog your memory.

— Every calendar’s days are numbered.

— Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

— When the smog lifts in Westwood, UCLA.

— Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

— Most money is really tainted — ’taint yours and ’taint mine.

Nikki's Art Exhibit Avant-Première

Nikki's pre-opening video is intended for our bloggers who are not Second Life member and, having no avatar, cannot attend the Grand Opening of her Art Exhibit. So we bought 3 bottles of champagne and three dozen sushis with the intention of giving you a quick go-around, in the case that you could not attend the REAL event.
My Gawd, that word REAL suddenly takes a strange color. Considering that Nikki's oldest paintings are over 20 yrs old, it is not difficult to see that she started her career pumping out those large canvases before kindergarten!. (The growling noise towards the very end of the sound track is the golden lab Chase getting bored for not having a ball to chase!)

Our Blog's Political Horizon Is Now Tilting Right

Because of the addition of the very Republican Camille to our author list, our blog is now tilting slightly to the right. We are counting on you bloggers and contributors to help bring it back to the middle. No hurry, though!
Thankyou,
your blogmeister Jacques

PS. these-positions-are-highly-relative-and-difficult-to-establish-nume- rically-except-maybe-by-finding-out-who-you-send-your-money-to. A poll is coming up! Don't you miss it!

After My Second Martini,.. My Very First Blog.

"I'm writing a novel called 'The Enemy.' It's a story about 3 terrorists who enter the United States as medical doctors (a play-off on the recent London and Glasgow bombings -- unsuccesful as they might have been.)

You, dearest brother-in-law, asked me why I insisted on writing something about which I knew nothing. Don't know. Still, I persevered. Almost 3/4's through the book. In order to write it, however, I had to do a great deal of research. I've read everything from 'Inside the CIA,' (Ronald Kessler) to 'Middle East Illusions,' (Naom Chomsky) to 'The Soldier' (about Colin Powell), and many, many more in between. I refused to denigrate the Bush administration without garnering as much understanding as possible.

Sadly, today, I recognize that a party of ideologues (neocons Cheney and his accolytes, perhaps Rumsfeld) insisted of developing a case for the war in Iraq, rather than responding to a direct threat. Colin Powell was the one dissenting voice in the first four years of Bush's presidency. Powell fought a good battle but, as a soldier, ultimately bowed to the his superior's wishes, believing in the 'facts' provided to him by the CIA. I've found him to be a good and honest man, one with an unbeatable record of service to our country. Someone I would have thankfully supported for President. But he was destroyed, asked to resign as Bush went into his second term, as were any of those with dissenting voices.

I am an American (ex-Canadian for 40 years); I love and am intensely loyal to my country. I am a Republican, resistant to a welfare and high tax state. Over and over again, I thank the young men and women who are sacrificing their blood in this Iraqi warfront. You don't think it's a war? Tell it to our soldiers.

How do we get out of this ugliness? To date, my vote will be for Mitt Romney, who has proven himself to be a superb financier and business leader. Someone I believe will not be deluded by special interest/far left ideologies.

P.S. If you're one of those who espouses a 9/11 conspiracy by the American government, go take a deep dip in the fires of hell.

Beethoven's Rollover - An Identity Crisis

You might prefer this more definitive version I posted at YouTube: